Tuesday 29 May 2012

GOOD NEWS FOR EGGS LOVERS



Very Important, EGG is good for cancer too.

Written by Dr JB Lim is the current TOP Nutritionist in Malaysia .

#Dear all,
Thank you for asking me.
Sometime back someone asked me the same question about eggs and its effect on health. I have already written and replied to him or her in a lengthy article supporting the nutritive and health benefits of eggs. I also gave scientific updates on more recent findings some of which are correctly given here as sent to me.

However the author of the article need to give at least some references of papers published in scientific journals to support the claims even though they are right.

But to super-summarize what I wrote last time in just 13 lines without me having to go all over again explaining the complexities of physiology, biochemistry, nutritional pathogenesis related to eggs and waste time and effort again, below are the yes points about eggs in human nutrition.
But I have to leave out some minor no points since the positive benefits far outweigh its negative values.

1. Eggs and milk are among the best foods for the body especially to a growing child.
2. Eggs do not cause an elevation of blood cholesterol
3. Eggs do not clog up the coronary vessels as once thought. In fact the opposite is now true
4. Eggs are low in energy value, and is a factor to consider in the formulation of a caloric-restriction diet
5. Eggs protein quality is extremely high, and has a very high nitrogen-retention value. Hence it is extremely useful in post-surgical care, trauma, and in post-management of hypovolemic shock against negative nitrogen balance
6. Eggs contain vitamin D in its natural form. The benefits of vitamin D require several chapters on human nutrition in medicine to discuss. And I refuse to repeat
7. Eggs are cancer-protective, especially for breast cancer
8. Eggs are very rich in sulfur-containing amino acids methionine which is a very crucial amino-acid in blocking damaging free radicals. These are directly linked to the pathogenesis of heart disease, cancers, DNA damage, all degenerative disorders, and accelerated aging.
9. Eggs protect against fatty liver, slow growth, macular degeneration (degeneration of the macula area of the retina in the eyes. This is responsible for central vision for reading, face recognition and detailed vision), edema (water retention), and various skin lesions
10. Eggs promote healthy growth of nails, hair and skin
11. Eggs are rich in tryphophan, selenium, iodine, and riboflavin (vitamin B2)
12. Eggs selenium content is cardio-protective against Keshan disease, cardiomyopathies (diseases involving the heart muscles, cardiomegaly (enlarged heart), myocardial dysfunction (poor heart function) and death from heart failure.
13. Eggs are protective against Kashin-Beck disease (osteoarthropathy), myxedematous endemic cretinism (mental retardation)
14. The list goes on…on!

Regards, and ask me no more on eggs. I have lots of other questions awaiting answers.

jb lim
4:35 a.m.
24 August, 2010 #

This is one of those articles that may make one go to extreme and consume too much. Remember -- anything that is consumed too much is bad for your health. Do everything in moderation.


10 Health Benefits of Eggs

1. Eggs are great for the eyes. According to one study, an egg a day may prevent mascular degeneraton due to the carotenoid content, specifically lutein and zeaxanthin. Both nutrients are more readily available to our bodies from eggs than from other sources.

2. In another study, researchers found that people who eat eggs every day lower their risk of developing cataracts, also because of the lutein and zeaxanthin in eggs.

3. One egg contains 6 grams of high-quality protein and all 9 essential amino acids.

4. According to a study by the Harvard School of Public Health, there is no significant link between egg consumption and heart disease. In fact, according to one study, regular consumption of eggs may help prevent blood clots, stroke, and heart attacks.

5. They are a good source of choline. One egg yolk has about 300 micrograms of choline. Choline is an important nutrient that helps regulate the brain, nervous system, and cardiovascular system.

6. They contain the right kind of fat. One egg contains just 5 grams of fat and only 1.5 grams of that is saturated fat.

7. New research shows that, contrary to previous belief, moderate consumption of eggs does not have a negative impact on cholesterol. In fact, recent studies have shown that regular consumption of two eggs per day does not affect a person's lipid profile and may, in fact, improve it. Research suggests that it is saturated fat that raises cholesterol rather than dietary cholesterol.

8. Eggs are one of the only foods that contain naturally occurringvitamin D.

9. Eggs may prevent breast cancer. In one study, women who consumed at least 6 eggs per week lowered their risk of breast cancer by 44%.

10. Eggs promote healthy hair and nails because of their high sulphur content and wide array of vitamins and minerals. Many people find their hair growing faster after adding eggs to their diet, especially if they were previously deficient in foods containing sulphur or B12.


Monday 28 May 2012

A Great Way to Travel......

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS....YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TO GET ON A PLANE AGAIN........

Mesmerizing!!!
This is just fantastic. Pick out any interesting location around the world and click on it. A page will come up with a photo. In the center is a circle with a triangle. Click on the triangle. Now you get a full picture. If it's not a full screen, click on the 4 dots in the lower right corner. Now with full screen, place your curser anywhere on the screen and slowly drag the picture in any direction you want. Left, right, up, down, slow or stop. Try the Egyptian Pyramids in Egypt or Moscow, Kremlin to get started. Enjoy.

Panoramas and 3D. Tours of the Most Beautiful Places Around the World!

Link: http://www.airpano.com/Articles-List-AirPano.php
 
Click on the below City Names Enjoy !

Victoria Falls,                                  Zambia
   •   Venezuela,                                  Surroundings of Angel Falls,                                  Venezuela   •   Angel falls,                                  Venezuela   •  Kalyan                                  Minaret, Bukhara, Uzbekistan   • Miami,                                  USA   •   Las Vegas,                                  USA   •   Lake Powell,                                  USA   •   Manhattan, New                                  York, USA   •   Golden Gate                                  Bridge, San Francisco,                                  USA   •   Millennium UN                                  Plaza Hotel, New York,                                  USA   •   Oahu, Hawaii,                                  USA   •   Las Vegas, Nevada,                                  USA   •   Millennium UN                                  Plaza Hotel, New York,                                  USA   •   Golden Gate                                  Bridge, USA   •   Statue of Liberty,                                  New York, USA                                    •   Manhattan, New                                  York, USA   •   Hollywood,                                  California, USA                                    •   San Juan and                                  Colorado rivers, USA                                    •   Goosenecks, Utah,                                  USA   •   Mono Lake,                                  California, USA                                    •   Millennium UN                                  Plaza Hotel, New York,                                  USA   • Chicago, Illinois,                                  USA   •   Los Angeles,                                  California, USA                                    •   Kiev,                                  Ukraine   •   Ay-Petri,                                  Ukraine   •   Dubai,                                  UAE   •  Dubai, Islands,                                  UAE   •   Palm Jumeirah,                                  Dubai, UAE   •  Bangkok,                                  Thailand   •   Sankt-Moritz,                                  Switzerland   •   Cape Good Hope,                                  South Africa                                    •   Cape-Town, South                                  Africa   •  Moscow, MSU,                                  Russia   •   Moscow, Kremlin,                                  Bolotnaya Square , Russia                                    •   Moscow,                                  Russia   •   Moscow Kremlin,                                  Russia   •   55.748765;37.540841,                                  Russia   •   Moscow City,                                  Russia   •   Kremlin, Moscow,                                  Russia   •   Moscow City,                                  Russia   •   Trinity Lavra of                                  Sait Sergius, Russia                                    •   Saint-Petersburg,                                  Russia  •  New Jerusalem                                  Monastery, Russia                                    •   Saint Petersburg,                                  Russia   •   Novodevichy                                  Convent. Moscow, Russia                                    •  Ramenki,Moscow,                                  Russia   •   MKAD, Moscow,                                  Russia   •  Moscow,                                  Russia   •  Moscow,                                  Russia   •   Krokus Expo                                  Center, Moscow, Russia                                    •   Moscow Region,                                  Russia  •  Moeraki Boulders,                                  New Zealand   •   Fiordland, New                                  Zealand   •  Nepal,                                  Nepal   •   Maldives,                                  Maldives   •  Kuala-Lumpur,                                  Malaysia   •  Grimsvotn,                                  Iceland   •   Amsterdam,                                  Holland   •  Neuschwanstein                                  Castle, Germany                                    •   Egyptian Pyramids,                                  Egypt   •   Hong Kong,                                  China   •  The Iguassu Falls,                                  Brazil   •  Twelve Apostles                                  Marine National Park,                                  Australia   •   Sydney,                                  Australia   •   Buenos Aires,                                  Argentina   • 

Friday 18 May 2012

Aladdin's Magic Lamp

Woman finds Aladdin's magic lamp
and she starts rubbing it.

Genie comes out as usual.

Woman looks at Genie
and asks to be granted a wish

I want my husband to have eyes only for me ~
I want to be the only one in his life ~
I want him to sleep always by my side ~
I want that when he gets up in the morning,
I'm the first thing he grabs and he takes me wherever he goes.

And guess what ?



Genie turned her into a Smartphone!!

Processed Meats Declared Too Dangerous for Human Consumption By Mike Adams 12/07/2007

The World Cancer Research Fund (WCRF) has just completed a detailed review of more than 7,000 clinical studies covering links between diet and cancer. Its conclusion is rocking the health world with startling bluntness: Processed meats are too dangerous for human consumption. Consumers should stop buying and eating all processed meat products for the rest of their lives. Processed meats include bacon, sausage, hotdogs, sandwich meat, packaged ham, pepperoni, salami and virtually all red meat used in frozen prepared meals.

They are usually manufactured with a carcinogenic ingredient known assodium nitrite. This is used as a color fixer by meat companies to turn packaged meats a bright red color so they look fresh. Unfortunately, sodium nitrite also results in the formation of cancer-causing nitrosamines in the human body. And this leads to a sharp increase in cancer risk for those who eat them.

A 2005 University of Hawaii study found that processed meats increase the risk of pancreatic cancer by 67 percent. Another study revealed that every 50 grams of processed meat consumed daily increases the risk of colorectal cancer by 50 percent. These are alarming numbers. Note that these cancer risks do not come from eating fresh, non-processed meats. They only appear in people who regularly consume processed meat products containing sodium nitrite.

Sodium nitrite appears predominantly in red meat products (you won't find it in chicken or fish products). Here's a short list of food items to check carefully for sodium nitrite and monosodium glutamate (MSG), another dangerous additive:
* Beef jerky
* Bacon
* Sausage
* Hot dogs
* Sandwich meat
* Frozen pizza with meat
* Canned soups with meat
* Frozen meals with meat
* Ravioli and meat pasta foods
* Kid's meals containing red meat
* Sandwich meat used at popular restaurants
* Nearly all red meats sold at public schools, restaurants, hospitals, hotelsand theme parks

If sodium nitrite is so dangerous to humans, why do the FDA and USDA continue to allow this cancer-causing chemical to be used? The answer, of course, is that food industry interests now dominate the actions by U.S. government regulators. The USDA, for example, tried to ban sodium nitrite in the late 1970's but was overridden by the meat industry. It insisted the chemical was safe and accused the USDA of trying to "ban bacon."
Today, the corporations that dominate American food and agricultural interests hold tremendous influence over the FDA and USDA. Consumers are offered no real protection from dangerous chemicals intentionally added to foods, medicines and personal care products.

You can protect yourself and your family from the dangers of processed meats by following a few simple rules:
1. Always read ingredient labels.
2. Don't buy anything made with sodium nitrite or monosodium glutamate.
3. Don't eat red meats served by restaurants, schools, hospitals, hotels orother institutions.

And finally, eat more fresh produce with every meal. There is evidence thatnatural vitamin C found in citrus fruits and exotic berries (like camu camu)helps prevent the formation of cancer-causing nitrosamines, protecting you from the devastating health effects of sodium nitrite in processed meats. The best defense, of course, is to avoid eating processed meats altogether.

[Ed. Note: Mike Adams, the Health Ranger – a leading authority on healthy living-- is on a mission: to explore, uncover and share the truth about harmful foods and beverages, prescription drugs, medical practices and the dishonest marketingpractices that drive these industries. For his latest findings, click here.]

Thursday 17 May 2012

Home Remedies:

CURE FOR ACIDITY :
Acidity, it is said, is worse than Cancer. It is one of the most common problems people encounter in their daily life. The home remedy for Acidity is Raw Grains of Rice.

The Process:
1. Take 8 - 10 grains of raw uncooked rice

2. Swallow it with water before having your breakfast or eating anything in the morning

3. Do this for 21 days to see effective results and continuously for 3 months to eliminate acidity from the body

The Cure:
Reduces acid levels in the body and makes you feel better by the day.


CURE FOR CHOLESTEROL:

Cholesterol problem accompanies with Hypertension and Heart Problems. This is also one of the common problems in people who have High Blood Pressure and Diabetes. The home remedy for Cholesterol problem is RAW SUPARI or Betel Nuts.

The Process:
1. Take Raw Supari (Betel Nut that is not flavoured) and slice them or make pieces of the same

2. Chew it for about 20 - 40 minutes after every meal

3. Spit it out

The Cure:
When you chew the supari, the saliva takes in the juice that is generated and this acts like a Blood Thinner. Once your blood becomes free flowing, it brings down the pressure in the blood flow, thereby reducing Blood Pressure too.

CURE FOR BLOOD PRESSURE:

One of the simple home remedy cure for Blood Pressure is Methi Seeds or Fenugreek Seeds.

The Process:
1. Take a pinch of Raw Fenugreek Seeds, about 8 - 10 seeds

2. Swallow it with water before taking your breakfast, every morning

The Cure:
The seeds of Fenugreek are considered good to reduce the blood pressure.

CURE FOR DIABETES:

There are 2 home remedies for Diabetes. One is Black Tea and the other is Lady Fingers or Okra.

BLACK TEA:
Due to high medication, the organ that is worst affected is the Kidney. It has been observed that Black Tea (tea without milk, sugar or lemon) is good for the Kidney. Hence, a cup of black tea every morning is highly advisable.

The Process:
1. Boil water along with the tea leaves (any tea leaves will do).

2. Drink the concoction without adding milk, sugar or lemon.

The Cure:
Black Tea will help in enhancing the function of the kidney, thereby not affecting it more.

LADY FINGER or OKRA:
Lady Finger/Okra is considered to be a good home medicine for diabetes.
The Process:
1. Slit the ladies finger into 2 halves vertically and soak it in water overnight.

2. The next morning, remove the ladies fingers and drink the water, before eating your breakfast.

The Cure:
After the ladies fingers are soaked overnight in the water, you can observe that the water becomes sticky in the morning. This sticky water is considered to be good for people who suffer from Diabetes.

- WITH LOVE-

YOGIRAJ DR.SARVESH SONI
' PRAKRITI NILYAM'
C-36,CHANDRA PRABHU CHS,LAM ROAD
DEVLALI CAMP-422 401,NASIK (M.S.) INDIA

Wednesday 16 May 2012

BLACK TESTICLES

A male patient is lying in bed in hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know, sir.
I'm only here to wash your upper body.'
He struggles to ask again,
'Nurse, are my testicles black?'

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worrying about his
testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the
other, lifting and moving them around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure
you, there's nothing wrong with them, sir !!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask,
smiles at her and says very slowly,
'Thank you very much.
That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.....

A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?'

Sunday 13 May 2012

Vitamin F

I loved this and want to share it with you...

Why do I have a variety of friends who are all so different in character? How can I get along with them all? I think that each one helps to bring out a "different" part of me.
With one of them I am polite. I joke with another friend.


I sit down and talk about serious matters with one. With another I laugh a lot. I may have a beer with one. I listen to one friend's problems. Then I listen to another one's advice for me.
My friends are all like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. When completed, they form a treasure box. A treasure of friends! They are my friends who understand me better than myself, who support me through good days and bad days. We all pray together and for each other.
Real Age doctors tell us that friends are good for our health. Dr. Oz calls them Vitamins F (for Friends) and counts the benefits of friends as essential to our well being. Research shows that people in strong social circles have less risk of depression and terminal strokes. If you enjoy Vitamins F constantly you can be up to 30 years younger than your real age. The warmth of friendship stops stress and even in your most intense moments it decreases the chance of a cardiac arrest or stroke by 50%.

I'm so happy that I have a stock of Vitamins F!
In summary, we should value our friends and keep in touch with them. We should try to see the funny side of things and laugh together, and pray for each other
in the tough moments.

Thank you for being one of my Vitamins!

Thursday 10 May 2012

The Not So Cute Boyfriend

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well, Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" !

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce replies instantly, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well, Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."

Mr. Smith doesn't think little Bruce is so cute anymore.

A problem solved by one young lady.

Have you ever felt like strangling one of those 'loud mouthed' cell phone users who seem to sit near you in a restaurant or any other place and forcibly share their private call with you.

Here's one solution, provided by a commuter on how to combat this display of bad manners.

After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson.
As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart it's Eric, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting - no, honey, not with that floozie from the accounts office, with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart" etc., etc.

Fifteen minutes later at St. Anne de Bellevue he was still talking loudly , when the young woman sitting next to him, who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe, yelled at the top of her voice:

"Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!"

My guess would be that Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer.

Monday 7 May 2012

The Real Life Seven Dwarfs


Meet the Johnstons - the largest family of achondroplasia dwarfs in the world.

To the outside world, they may look different from everyone else.

But for the Johnston family, the only difference between them and everyone else is that they are a little smaller.

Amber and Trent Johnson, from Barnesville, Georgia, and their five children are the largest family of achondroplasia dwarfs, with a type of dwarfism that affects the extremities.

Amber Stormer Johnston and Trent Johnston - The True 7 Dwarfs From left: Sisters Elizabeth and Ana, husband Trent and wife Amber, brother Jonah and sister Emma, and Alex from South Korea
The True 7 Dwarfs: From left, biological child Elizabeth, Ana from Siberia, Jonah, mom Amber, dad Trent, Alex from South Korea and Emma from China The True Seven Dwarfs: From left, biological child Elizabeth, Ana from Siberia, Jonah, mom Amber, dad Trent, Alex from South Korea and Emma from China
Amber Stormer Johnston and Trent Johnston

Amber Stormer Johnston and Trent Johnston The True 7 Dwarfs
Brad and Angelina of Little People: Friends have compared the Johnstons to the famous couple because of how they embrace the heritage and culture of each of their children

They call themselves 'the real life seven dwarfs' and embrace their size, and say they 'strive to raise their children in the world that's not built for them'.
Speaking to Barbara Walters for tonight's ABC's 20/20, the Johnstons explain why they go to extremes to try to keep things normal for their five children.
Instead of adapting their home to fit the family, who are no more than four feet tall, they instead encourage their children to overcome the hurdles - for example, placing step stools to help them reach cupboards and attaching sticks to light switches.
Trent and Amber met at a little people's convention, dated for almost four years and married. Five months later Amber was pregnant.

Trent came from a family of dwarfs, but Amber's family were full size. They knew there was a possibility that their first child could be full size, but at 31 weeks discovered Jonah also hadachondroplasia dwarfism.

They were very happy as they wanted kids who were 'like them', they said.

The birth of their second biological child Elizabeth was very traumatic for Amber - at one point she was only 48 inches tall but measured 51 inches around.
They both wanted a big family, but instead of putting Amber at any more risk with another traumatic pregnancy they decided to adopt to extend their brood of dwarfs.
Multi-cultural: The Johnston children are a mix of American, Siberian, Chinese and South Korean
Add caption
Multi-cultural: The Johnston children are a mix of American, Siberian, Chinese and South Korean
Sister act: Blonde sisters Ana and Elizabeth give younger sister Emma from China a kiss on the cheekSister act: Blonde sisters Ana and Elizabeth give younger sister Emma from China a kiss on the cheek
Anderson show: The news anchor and talk show host brought the family in for a chat about being real life dwarfs Anderson show: The news anchor and talk show host brought the family in for a chat about being real life dwarfs.
Soul mates: Amber Stormer Johnston and Trent Johnston met at a little people's convention, dated for almost four years, got married and had two biological children Soul mates: Amber Stormer Johnston and Trent Johnston met at a little people's convention, dated for almost four years, got married and had two biological children

Dwarfs are often put up for adoption and are also treated badly in other countries because of their difference.
Amber and Trent decided to adopt three children from different parts of the world - Ana from Siberia, Alex from South Korea and Emma from China.

When Elizabeth was in third grade, bullies called her a midget.

She simply told them: 'That's how God made me - that's how he loves me.'

HOSPITAL BILL

You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!!

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery...

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the
irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns
are married to God."

The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Wednesday 2 May 2012

Great Grandpa Story

You just have to love this grandpa !!!!!

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'